My mother often says to me “don’t post about that! You don’t know who could find it!” And in a way she’s right. When you are the only person in the whole wide world with your name (I’m dead serious – no exaggeration), sometimes it is incredibly important to pay attention to what you write. It becomes a matter of safety. It’s one of the reasons I do my very best to keep my last name separate from this blog. As much as I love y’all, I don’t want some stranger showing up at my door.
But there is a second meaning to this oft repeated message from my family and from others: don’t over share. No one needs to know the details of your personal life.
I think slightly differently, however. Not that I feel it’s necessary to document my every move in this space (that’s what Twitter is for. Kidding. Sort of. 😉 ), but I do enjoy sharing the every day details, however mundane, of my life with you. It’s why I post my menu plan every week and why I post a lot of pictures of Caty Cat. Because that’s mostly my life – food and my cat. 🙂
But really, those aren’t the posts that concern family members and, occasionally, others. It’s the posts about my ongoing battle with depression, my struggles to find a reason to get out of bed in the mornings, my fears, my anxieties, generally the things that go on in my head that don’t go on in “normal” people’s heads. The things that make me different. The things that make me ME.
I write because I need to. I don’t do it for the money or for the recognition (because there is not much there). I do it because it is my therapy. Putting words on a page, sharing my life, helps me in ways I cannot explain. My friends in the blogging world are part of the reason I get out of bed and put my fingers to the keyboard. Knowing that someone out there is reading and will shoot me an email if I seem off or haven’t posted in while gives me strength when I need it and lifts me up.
I know there are people out there who think I’m wrong; that private struggles should remain just that. I know there are people out there who want me to only write about the happy, bright things. I know there are those who will criticize me for sharing so much personal information.
Well let me tell you something. You don’t have to read this blog. No one is holding a gun to your head. No one is forcing you to keep reading.
As for me, I HAVE to keep blogging. I need it so much more than you know. So no matter what happens, no matter who says what, I will not stop. You cannot turn me off.
For all of you out there who feel pressured to stop writing or judged on what you write, don’t stop. Your blog, your journal, your online space is yours. It is your space to say what you want to say and how you want to say it. Haters are going to hate, people are going to criticize no matter what. But that should never make you stop doing what you want to do.
I’m not going to stop nor am I going to change what I feel like I have to do. I hope you’re with me.