When Being Single Sucks

by Elizabeth on September 7, 2011 · 10 comments

in life, love, struggles

There are a lot of times when being single sucks.  When your aunt asks about your love life at a family gathering.  When you see on facebook that that girl from high school is pregnant – with her second baby.  When you are forced to go to yet another wedding alone.  When you play third wheel with your married friends on a regular basis.

Then there are a lot of times when being single doesn’t suck at all, when in fact it’s excellent.  Like when you can take a trip to see your best friend at a moments notice.  Or when there is only one scoop of ice cream left in the container.  When you can watch American’s Next Top Model marathons for 8 straight hours in your rattiest pair of pajama pants and unbrushed hair.  When you can eat cheese and crackers and drink wine for dinner for 5 days without complaint.

But then there are times when being single sucks so bad it’s literally painful.  When you slowly watch all of your closest friends fall in love and begin completely different lives.  When you wake in the middle of the night and the bed is ice cold.  When you have to see bad movies by yourself.  When you watch another birthday, another milestone come and go without someone to share it with.  When you come home, day after day, to an empty house and the only thing ahead of you is a lonely dinner and a night in front of the tv with your cat.

That’s when being single really sucks.  When no phone calls to moms or cheerful “you’ll find someone soon!” comments or pans of brownies can erase the loneliness, the sadness of an empty house and a life without someone to share it.

The ticket from the first movie I ever went to see alone.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Christine September 7, 2011 at 6:34 pm

i love you!!!! i know that doesn’t change anything but i do!!!!

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2 Amber September 7, 2011 at 7:39 pm

ditto to Christine.

i love you tons.

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3 Andria September 8, 2011 at 7:35 am

I feel you, but there are so many times I miss being single too. It’s a grass is always greener thing, I think.

I miss being single because:
When I was single I used to actually be able to watch tv without either having my choice mocked, or having to say two days in advance “I want the damn tv tomorrow night”, or watching tv while bf is at work in the afternoon when I’d rather be reading.

When I was single, I actually got much more writing done because I didn’t live with the constant fear of someone popping into my office wanting to be entertained.

When I was single, I actually got to be alone and could sing in the shower with abandon.

When I was single I never come home to someone else’s messes.

When I was single, I never had to check in with anyone when I went out after work.

When I was single, I never had to spend time socially with physicists (they’re not that bad, but some of them are such nerds).

To sum up: Being single sucks, but being in a relationship is a lot of work. It’s all in what you make of it, and I suggest you do what my co-worker does, which is say, “No, I’m not married. Just lucky I guess!”

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4 Elizabeth September 8, 2011 at 9:52 am

I like your coworkers quote. 🙂 Although I consider being unmarried very unlucky!

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5 Cate September 8, 2011 at 7:59 am

I will admit that I sometimes envy you and other single people. 🙂 Not because I don’t like being married or because I truly wish I were single, but because you do have so much freedom! Wine and cheese and crackers for dinner five nights in a row? Yes, please! Buying a new bag or spending $100 at Barnes & Noble on a whim? That too! I think my envy of the single life probably has something to do with the fact that Jason and I got engaged/married when I was 18…I don’t think I was too young, and I’m still thrilled to be with him, but I never truly got to experience living alone or being single.

ANYWAY, what I’m getting at is that I’m sorry being single sucks sometimes. I guess just try to enjoy the wine and cheese and cracker dinners while you can? <3 you!

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6 Elizabeth September 8, 2011 at 9:51 am

I wondered if you ever feel like you missed out, getting married and having Simone so young. You always seem very happy, but knowing how much I enjoyed my college years of little responsibility and being “on my own” for the first, I did wonder. Like Andria said, the grass is always greener on the other side, and while I wouldn’t trade my independence or my days as a young 20-something, it’s very hard not to be envious of friends with their husbands/wives, new babies, and settled lives.

<3 you too! 🙂

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7 Amelia September 8, 2011 at 9:30 am

I know it doesn’t make either one of us feel 100% better about being single but thank you for posting this. I was having a pity party of one today for a lot of the same reasons as you posted. It feels a little better knowing that I’m not alone in feeling this way. Some of my closest friends are single too, but they don’t seem to think it sucks as much as I do, they seem pretty content to just keep going the way they are and if they find someone they find someone.

The one thing I would add to the list of suckage: My younger brother is married and there is a really good chance that within the next few years they will have started their family, which makes me feel like I’m really lagging behind in the game of life.

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8 Elizabeth September 8, 2011 at 9:48 am

I have pity parties of one quite a bit. 🙂 You are most definitely not alone in your feelings! You’re lucky that you have close friends that are single. I only have one truly single friend that I talk to on a regular basis and her life is very different from mine (just finished school, job hunting, and beginning her life). It’s hard to watch friends and family members get married and start families; it does feel like you are somehow behind and you definitely feel like you are missing out.

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9 Megg September 8, 2011 at 11:55 am

I sometimes miss being single, too. Sometimes, though, I think Geoff really misses that he only had about a year of being a bachelor until we got married. I think he sometimes feels really young, even though he was almost 25 and friends from high school got married a lot younger (they’re also mormons so…you know).
But I really like the fact that God made me wait, for whatever reason. I was able to really enjoy my singlehood because I didn’t get married until I was 26 (is that right? I guess so!)
You’re not an old maid yet 🙂 Like I tell my single, best friend…God has someone out there for you, he’s just not ready yet 🙂

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10 John December 31, 2013 at 4:50 pm

It is always wonderful to have that special person to share your life with.

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