Sometimes I Hate Blogging

by Elizabeth on August 7, 2011 · 24 comments

in blogging, could be controversial, struggles

Confession: sometimes I hate blogging.  No, it’s not the usual reason: the time and effort it takes.  It’s how careful I have to be.  All.The.Freaking.Time.

There’s the usual level of carefulness – not revealing too much personal information like my address or phone number, but there’s an extra level of caution that I take.  The don’t-piss-anyone-off level.

I have been extremely lucky that I have never, not in over a year of blogging, had someone made a truly rude or unwelcome comment.  I know that not everyone has been that lucky and there was, for a while, a nice effort to keep things friendly in the blogosphere, and I really appreciated that. But despite that, I remained very cautious about what I posted.

I never blog about religion, in fear of angering the Christians and non-Christians alike.  I never post about politics, because I don’t want to lose my Republican readers (and cause lots of real-life family controversy!).  While I talk about money, I keep it simple and general.  It’s rare that I discuss library controversies because no one likes an angry librarian.

I do not have thick skin.  I can’t let a negative comment or mean-spirited remark roll off my back.  Perhaps, it’s because I was bullied, perhaps I’m just a sensitive person.  Whatever the reason, I don’t take well to criticism and failure, so I don’t take risks.  In real life and in blogging.

But that has to stop.

I am a grown woman with opinions.  I am allowed to have those opinions. I can say whatever I want and I should not be made to feel guilty or sorry for having those opinions. 

Yet, right now I feel guilty and sorry.  And extremely upset over something that I said in passing (in a reply to a comment no less!) that got out.  I meant no harm in; I was merely stating an opinion that I’m entitled to.

Maybe I’m being oversensitive for getting so upset, when everyone is entitled to there own opinion and thoughts.  But this is what I really hate about blogging.  I hate this feeling in my stomach.  I hate feeling misunderstood.  I hate knowing that people think poorly of me.

But I can’t think that any longer.  Just as I have opinions, so does everyone else, and the freedom to express them.  I have to learn to let it go and move on with my life.  It’s not worth getting myself upset or worked up over.

But sometimes I really hate blogging.

{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Amber August 7, 2011 at 4:25 pm

i’m sorry you’re feeling this way. i know exactly how you feel, because, as you know, i have extremely thin skin and am extremely over-sensitive. i told you how i feel about this situation and your comment, so all i will say is this: you are totally entitled to your opinion. and i love you. that is all.


2 Elizabeth August 7, 2011 at 4:32 pm

*sniff* I love you too! 🙂


3 Ashley Martin August 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

I have two blogs for this very reason. One is private and only a few of my closest friends see it, and the other is the iMother blog. I hold back all the time on iMother just because I don’t want to offend anyone.

I NEVER blog about politics or anything like that. I’m a Christian, but I don’t fit into the “southern/conservative Christian” box. Hardly any of my friends know that I’m pro-choice, pro- gay marriage, or that I love the word “fuck” (It’s just an awesome word and it makes me feel better when I’m blue). I feel a lot of my friends would give me a hard time about it if they knew.

I feel like having a different opinion or just being plain different isn’t accepted very well in the south. It definitely makes blogging hard at times :-/


4 Elizabeth August 7, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Something I think having an opinion on anything, anywhere is hard!

I started blogging so that I could write what I felt and thought but it quickly became apparent that I could never be all the way right. I either talked about food or romance novels too much or didn’t talk about unemployment and librarianship enough. There is just no way to win. Which is why I’m tempted to say to hell with it and write whatever I damn well please. 🙂


5 Megg August 7, 2011 at 5:58 pm

That’s what I do! I don’t care if people don’t like what I have to say. I don’t care if they think it’s lame, or stupid, or wonder why the hell I’m blogging about it.
You can’t keep everyone happy, at least in regards to what you blog about, so why try?
As for having an opinion…I told you how I feel about it. People have them, and while I think we can play nice, I don’t think we have to walk on eggs around everyone.

PS At least you don’t have a hate blog associated with your blog, because those are out there too! 🙁


6 Amber August 7, 2011 at 5:06 pm

totally off topic, but i whole-heartedly concur that “fuck” is, in fact, an awesome word. clusterfuck is probably my favorite word in the entire world.


7 Elizabeth August 8, 2011 at 9:41 am

“clusterfuck” is an excellent word. 🙂 Thanks for mentioning that.


8 Molly August 9, 2011 at 2:33 pm

I’m, um, also a big fan of “fuckler” – which was my sister’s mis-typed word after quite a day. Even better with stars, a la f*ckler!!!!!!


9 Molly August 9, 2011 at 2:44 pm

And… maybe that wasn’t the best way to introduce myself as a commenter on a new blog (from the frugal girl). Hi, I’m Molly, and I’m bad at censoring myself!

10 Elizabeth August 10, 2011 at 9:21 am

lol. Hi Molly! Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!

11 Amy August 7, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Don’t apologize, youve done nothing wrong. Admitting your honest feelings in a classy, non-hateful way does not make you a bad person or blogger. <3 you!


12 Elizabeth August 7, 2011 at 5:01 pm

I knew I could count on you for support and encouragement. You’ve always been so great about voicing your opinions in honest, yet nice way. I admire you for that so much! <3 you too!


13 Katy @ The Non-Consumer Advocate August 7, 2011 at 6:05 pm

I found no offense in your comment. I am cheap. I know it and I put it out there for all the world to comment on. I asked for it.

I am very sorry that I upset you. I consciously chose not to link to the comment itself because I didn’t want to send any negative readers to you.




14 Elizabeth August 8, 2011 at 9:44 am

YOU didn’t upset me (I think I should have been more clear). I upset myself, by slipping up and making a mistake that caused that comment to come to you.

However, it was bound to happen sooner or later and I really appreciate you not calling me out; I chose to do it myself so that I could own it, say some things I wanted to, and then turn it in to a blog post all on its own. I’m shameless, apparently. 🙂

Thank you for being so sweet and always being honest about your lifestyle. I’ve learned lots from you over the past few years!


15 Kristen@TheFrugalGirl August 7, 2011 at 8:30 pm

It’s true that there’s no way to win…there’s always someone to criticize something that I do (I use a word the wrong way, I don’t feed my kids enough rice and potatoes, I don’t feed them enough fruit, we don’t drink enough milk, I should have found a reuse for item xyz, I worry too much about wasting food, I don’t worry enough about wasting food, I don’t spend enough hours doing school with my kids, and on and on.).

The best thing to do, I think, is just to blog in as humble a manner as possible, acknowledge that you’ve got faults, and express your opinions graciously.

Hugs from another thin-skinned blogger. 🙂


16 Elizabeth August 8, 2011 at 9:48 am

Thanks Kristen. You’re right; there is no way to win. Someone is always going to be critical (I’ve been so lucky to have not faced it yet!).

I will never be as humble or as gracious as you, but you and your blog encourage me to do so everyday. Thank you for that inspiration.


17 Nelson August 7, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Don’t get walked on either. Sometimes you’re right and need to internally tell the other person to f$&* off and move along and have a great day!


18 Reese August 8, 2011 at 9:09 am

So I talked with Ross about this last night. He thinks being CHEAP is doing something you wouldn’t normally do. Like… buying flip flops when you need a pair of tennis shoes. You settle for something completely different just for the sake of saving an extra dime. When really, it would have been better to buy the dang tennis shoes.

I somehow disagree and agree with him. But I’m on the same level as you (and you shouldn’t EVER feel bad for being honest. Readers appreciate honesty, even if it doesn’t jive with their own beliefs. I doubt you would have as many followers if you were dishonest in any way!).

I don’t like taking other people’s food. Period. Unless offered to me, in great condition and I know the person, I consider it trash. Sure, it’s food waste, but it’s someone else’s food waste. There are times when I want to save the world, and times when I can’t. And I won’t put my health at risk over a $2 container of yogurt. That screams cheap to me (but that’s how I was raised).

I have an ethical issue with the reselling of items because I see Salvation Army and Goodwill as companies that strive to help the community. They take things donated by people (when those items could have just been thrown away! Even in good condition!), and sell them back to the community at a low price. Some local used shops funnel the profits back into the community (donating to charities or soup kitchens), while others are used to sustain the business.

Here’s my problem: If you buy a pair of shoes for $5 from Goodwill, then go and sell them for $185, that’s $180 you’re essentially taking from the community. To make it not cheap, I’d donate the $180 back to the company. Or buy stuff for a food kitchen with it. To me this might even teeter on selfish.

I’m in no way CALLING Katy or you selfish (or anyone else for that matter who may do this) or cheap, but when I heard about these two instances, that’s what popped into my mind.

So what am I going to do about it? Nothing. That’s their lifestyle and it works for them. I won’t introduce it into mine, but reading opinions helps me reaffirm/question my beliefs to make me a better person. So PLEASE keep writing honestly 🙂

You really are a fabulous blogger and things like this should just be brushed off so you can move on to the next post!


19 Elizabeth August 8, 2011 at 9:52 am

Reese, we are so totally on the same page about this that it’s scary. This is EXACTLY how I feel and you put it into words way better than I ever could.

I also agree that I am not (nor ever will) calling anyone selfish or criticizing them for how they choose to live their lives. That’s their business, not mine. And there is nothing that I can do about it, except continue to be generous and remain true to MY beliefs.

Thank you for your support and your friendship. You have no idea how much it means to me.


20 Barb August 8, 2011 at 3:37 pm

I’m trying to follow your logic about the $5 item that is resold for $185. But I don’t see how the person is “essentially taking $180 from the community.” The thrift store is only charging $5, and will only get $5, no matter who buys the item. So if the buyer gives the item to a friend, cuts it up and uses it for scrap material, creates it into a large sculpture, or sells it — how does that change the impact on the community one way or another?

In my opinion (and I will freely admit, it’s just my opinion, others are not required to agree with me on this or anything else), it’s waaaaay better to resell the item than send it to the landfill. And if someone can make a living by reselling items, again, I’m delighted. More jobs/income for more people is excellent, and still keeping the stuff out of the landfills.

Just for the record, I have never tried to make money reselling an item. I don’t have the time or inclination.

Happy to agree to disagree here. I enjoyed reading your comments.


21 Kristen@TheFrugalGirl August 10, 2011 at 5:44 am

I’m also confused about the logic of the $5/$180 argument. The thrift store was only ever going to make $5 off of the shoes, right? (Regardless of whether someone was going to wear them or sell them for $180.)

So, reselling should have no effect on the thrift store itself, its profits, or its ability to help the community.


22 Barb August 8, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Hi Elizabeth,

I just stopped by from the Non-Consumer Advocate to say — I didn’t find your comment upsetting or offensive in any way. And (based on my reading) I don’t think Katy was offended either. She thought your different-from-her-own viewpoint was interesting, food for thought. And so did I, as a reader.

I don’t happen to agree with you. I have no issue with consuming salsa from a container that is only part full. And I really can’t wrap my head around what you see as a problem with reselling items bought at the thrift store. But that’s OK! We (the Internet community) don’t have to agree all the time.

You were completely respectful and polite, though clear in your differing opinion. I hope to be as kind and clear and respectfully polite when I disagree.

My two cents (though you didn’t ask for my advice, so feel free to disregard as you see fit): keep on sharing your opinion. You have a fresh, kind, voice. And your opinion is just as valuable as anyone else’s.

Much luck to you! –Barb


23 Elizabeth August 9, 2011 at 10:24 am

Thank you so much for your response, Barb! I really appreciate your encouragement and I urge you to do the same. The Internet should be full of fresh, honest voices who give their opinions respectfully and politely.


24 Cate August 11, 2011 at 8:17 am

Don’t worry about what people think of what you write on your blog! If they don’t like it, that is their problem (provided you’re not being deliberately offensive, obviously!) I don’t have the thickest skin in the world, either, so I know that’s easier said than done. I just try to represent myself and my opinions honestly, without apology. Sometimes the blogs I enjoy the most are ones I don’t agree with all of the time, but I love hearing what they have to say anyway.


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